End of an Era

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Though this has nothing to do with romantic ventures, I just thought I’d make a post to commemorate the end of Xanga. I’d been a member since 2006. What began as secret, evolved into my personal diary. Some years were chronicled more closely than others, but in 2 days that is all over. 

I suppose this means I’ll have to create a personal one on wordpress, and figure out how to code it so it looks similar to my old diary.

Sayonara, Xanga. Thank you for storing my precious memories for the past 7 years. ❤

Never Settle

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The reoccurring dating advice I got before jumping in again was, “Never settle.” My whole life I have talked myself out of breaking up with loser boyfriends, staying longer than I should’ve, and telling myself that I’ve learned something with every failed relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I have, though that isn’t the practical way to handle it.

While I was in Colorado, a friend’s roommate, who is engaged to the love of her life heard me go on about my romantic flops and questioning whether my man was out there somewhere. She smiled and said,

“I used to feel just like you are now. I thought he didn’t exist and I was in relationships that weren’t good for me. But then I found my fiancee, and I realized just how thankful I am that I didn’t settle and that I had all those bad relationships, so I could be thankful when I found a good one.”

I couldn’t help but smile back at the happiness she radiated. Everyone’s optimistic words kept me going, and the thought that my “just right guy” is out there somewhere, is how I’ve persisted for so long. After countless bad dates, creepy guys, and 2 matches that fizzled out, I’ve found a keeper.

I was beginning to have my doubts that he existed. Cloud seemed like the closest match to what I was looking for with the height, sportiness, independence, and similar interests. When that abruptly ended, I almost gave up hope. But then I thought,

How hard would it be to find a guy that likes to lounge around, go out, workout, and enjoys sports? Surely, he’s out there somewhere. 

I gave myself until September, when my Match.com account expires, and swore that if I didn’t find anyone worthwhile by then, I’d delete all profiles and purely focus on my life again.

Maverick has proven to be absolutely wonderful, thoughtful, handsome, sporty, dorky, nerd, goofball and I adore him. :] He’s not afraid to be honest with me or show small PDA action in front of his friends. He’s been a gentleman with my gimpy foot, and really, is exactly what I’ve been searching for a long time now.

The best way I can describe it is, though we’ve only recently started dating (and became official last night 7/26), it feels like I’ve met him before. I suppose you could say kindred spirits. Not that anyone is complaining.

Without restraint, I’m jumping in. We’ll see how long we last but I’ve got a feeling, this one might be awhile. ;]

P.S. Cloud and Spongebob have come out of the wood work recently. And to think, you could’ve had this. ;P

Second Guessing, Everything

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I’ve been on a couple dates now. I’m beginning to realize that what everyone said initially, is right. I’m not ready for any of this. I never was. It’s gotten to a point where my own intuition is muddied and I’m second guessing every decision I make.

There is Spongebob, who seemed great but I haven’t heard from in nearly a week. There’s Maverick, who I have conversation battles with but begins nearly every story with, “So that girl who I met at the bar…” There’s Tony #2, who, let’s be honest, isn’t really interested but is using me as his backup. And then there’s you.

You aren’t right for me, and I know this and yet, here I am with you. I blame the fact that the sex is clouding my judgement. But the reality stands. You are looking for a tiny Asian girl, who has tattoos, rides a motorcycle, and likes to go out to drink. I only satisfy one of those requirements. Somehow psychology has won with proximity and exposure. Add to that the fact that you’ve been helpful despite all my broken bone. Really it’s the little things that won me over. The way you look at me before we kiss, the way you brush my hair off my neck, I know that if we started dating, we’d both be happy.

And now here I am, same M.O. as always. It’s nearly 7am and I haven’t gone to bed because you’re going to see her tonight. “We might be able to see each other after…or if not tomorrow.” I’m struggling to decide whether I should silence my intuition and jump OR just wave the white flag and go into solitude for awhile.

Over-Thinking Life

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The slew of dates have started, most, as predicted, have either fallen wayside or given up. But after all the recent failed relationships (Note: Tiger for 2 months & Cloud for 1), I’m left wondering if there’s any point in continuing online dating for 2 more months to see if anyone worthwhile bites and actually stays. 

I know my downsides. I enjoy always spending time with my man (exercising, lounging around, going out, etc), having sex, texting during downtime, so on and so forth. I have a career and your typical crazy FOB family, but I make it work. Sometimes, it feels like I’m judged for the shortcomings of my life/personality, and as much as I try to play it off like it’s fine, it still bugs me. 

Right now, I’m at a crossroads. My friends have always been split on this topic and here I am again. To just say FUCK IT, and date a bunch of guys and see what happens without feeling guilty OR choose one, and see what happens. 

I enjoy overanalyzing everything. Maybe this time, I should just forget focusing on the future and just let the chips fall where they may instead of trying to label every relationship. 

Creepers for this week :/

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First local guy to attempt flirting with me. Not my speed, but best of luck man.

 

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Both guys are 37. Mr. White Shirt kept stalking my profile without saying anything. Confronted, he said he was thinking ahead, seeing as he has a business trip coming up, so maybe after. Maybe some girls dig that cocky arrogance, I personally abhor it. :] 

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Black and white, and FIFTY. 

-_- Maybe I should just stop looking now, move, buy my Golden Retriever, and call it happily ever after already.

 

 

Today’s Hot Matches!

……are 49 YEARS OLD.

-________- Gross.

This guy’s Match profile was filled with photos of his kids. Along with blurry or distant photos of himself, like this one. 

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This one is special. 

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Wait for it….

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Really Grandpa? REALLY? You’re 49 and yet somehow you’re above dating anyone that should happen to be 41-48? Seriously? I think imma be sick. 

Broken Bone + Potential Slew of Dates?

Made a small crack in my left foot, elegantly falling at the end of a date by missing a step. I suppose trying to fake grace has it’s downsides.

Regardless, this now means potential coffee dates I had this weekend are now shot. I’ll hopefully find out tomorrow just how gimpy I’m going to be for the next 1-3 months. I’m praying for splint and quick recovery, but we’ll see.

Somehow I managed to scrounge up 9 potential dates. Some will likely fall out of the running, simply because I’m not 100% on their personalities yet. We shall see.

In the meantime, please enjoy the following creepers. :]

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Nearly 10 years older than me. Kept viewing my profile but never messaged me. I confronted him and told him too old. He stopped and just started looking at me again. =_= Soon to block.

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Creeper dad. Said that he’s been told that he’s hot. Moving on.

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41, messaged me saying I’m beautiful. Flattered and a little creeped out.

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My personal favorites are those that are old enough to be my father. If your daughter and I are the same age, that’s probably not a good enough reason to contact me. I really don’t need friends that badly.

Ultimate Frisbee Fail?

Ultimate Frisbee Fail?

Found a group on Meetup.com (again, interwebs to save awkward teacher status) to meet new people.

10 minute games for 2hrs, sprinted my ass off, realized that I can’t jump/throw but I can block like an irritated Asian bitch. CHAA!

Must train for next week…but hopefully my knees/ankles/shins didn’t die from today’s game.

COME ON CUTE WHITE BOYS!

P.S. …though I did get the number from some 38yr old nasty guy while waiting & a youngin college kid that wants a hiking buddy, I hope. -_-